Hypnotherapy for Low Self Esteem

If you find it hard to feel positive about yourself, it could be that you’re struggling with low self-esteem. Our self-esteem is how we see ourselves and how much value we place on us as an individual. If we develop a low opinion of ourselves, it can affect every aspect of our lives, from work to relationships.

Happily, you can boost your self-confidence again, using techniques like solution focused hypnotherapy. We’ll take a closer look at low self-esteem and how it can be raised.

What Is Low Self-Esteem?

Let’s start with the most positive end of the esteem spectrum. If you have healthy self-esteem, you’re kind to yourself. You don’t blame yourself unduly, and when you do, you’re able to learn from the mistake and move on, esteem intact. People with higher self-esteem are more confident: not in a “cocky” way, just in a comfortable-with-themselves sort of way. Above all, people with healthy self-esteem are happy in their own skins, and generally seem to like who they are.

When someone has low self-esteem, they see themselves through a more negative lens. They are less likely to bounce back from a challenge, and can be really self-critical about their own role in that challenge. It’s like there’s a nasty little voice in their heads, telling them they’re fat, they’re stupid, they’re a victim, they’re an imposter. It’s heartbreaking for the people who love them, as they desperately want their loved one to see themselves through their eyes.

Apart from toddlers, everyone experiences self-doubt and that’s OK: we need it to temper some of our crazier decisions. Low self-esteem occurs when the self-doubt never really goes away.

What Are The Signs Of Low Self Esteem?

How do you know if you have low self-esteem? Self-esteem is about how much you love and value yourself, and it can be all-too-easy to slide into being increasingly self-critical without really noticing. After a while, devaluing yourself feels normal.

Here are a few signs that you or a loved one has low self-esteem:

Feeling you don’t deserve more or better (not going for a promotion, for example)
Negative self-talk – your inner monologue is your harshest critic
Not wanting to speak up or put your head above the parapet
At the same time, needing and seeking approval from others
Never putting your needs first. Or even remotely near the top
Apologising a lot, usually when there’s absolutely no need
Going along with others
Assuming that people don’t like you
Finding it hard to make decisions

Low self-esteem is not seen as a mental health condition in itself – but reading this list, I’m sure you can see lots of links to anxiety! Low self-esteem is often a symptom of anxiety and depression, or can lead to anxiety and depression if it’s not recognised at an early stage. See also http://www.greatmindsclinic.co.uk/blog/6-signs-that-you-may-be-mildly-or-moderately-depressed/

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Even the most robust self-confidence can feel dented at times. But what causes longer-term low self-esteem?

The answer, I’m afraid, is a lot of things: health, money, work, relationships, body image, prejudice… Somehow from one or more of these, the message that you’re not good enough has reached the emotional side of your brain, and there it stays, continuing to whisper its damaging words sometimes years after the event.

A lack of love and security in childhood can be a major cause. Children easily soak up the blame for what’s going on in the adult world around them, when of course, it isn’t their fault. Knowing that you’re safe, loved and important in childhood is an essential part of how self-esteem develops.

Those difficult, oh-so-self-conscious pre-teen and teenage years are a tough time for esteem, no matter how stable homes and schools are. Hopefully, this will work through OK for most teens; however, problems such as bullying, teen pregnancy, abusive relationships, more dominant siblings, substance abuse, undiagnosed conditions like ASD or dyslexia and weight issues can all leave scars into adulthood.

As an adult, abusive, controlling and coercive relationships drain self-confidence, even after these relationships finish. Difficulties at work lead to feelings of inadequacy, while workplace cliques make people worry they’re unpopular or even unlikeable. New mums often struggle with their new role, new lifestyle and new body. Social media doesn’t help with any of these, as you can imagine.

But – and here’s a surprising element – you don’t need a major trauma like losing your job or to have been badly bullied to lose confidence in yourself. If you have a tendency to be self-critical anyway (and a lot of us have), it just takes a few bad days for that little voice to start whispering, and gradually get louder.

How Can I Raise My Self-Esteem?

The most important thing to realise is, yes, you can. You may not be a big fan of motivational quotes, but trust me, sayings like “You deserve the best”, “You are enough” and “Learn to love yourself” are absolutely valid when it comes to raising self-esteem. Here’s how to put those mantas into action.

Self-help books. There are some great ones out there, and they can be really helpful starting places
Eat well. Healthy food really does have a positive impact on your mind
Exercise. Releases serotonin, and as you feel fitter, your confidence in your body improves
Spend time with people who make you feel better about yourself, and who love you
Do things you enjoy and that make you feel happy – it’s a way to invest in yourself
Avoid social media. Comparing yourself to others is rarely healthy, and social sites inevitably lead to this

Can Hypnotherapy Boost Self-Esteem?

The forward-looking approach of this therapy is the perfect way to boost your self-esteem, as you work towards a more confident version of you. This is why solution focused hypnotherapy is so successful at helping with such diverse areas as weight management and phobias: it can help grow your confidence.

We’ll talk about your strengths, and find positive and practical ways to build on those. We can break the cycle of negative thinking, and start to replace those damaging whispers with positive and encouraging self-talk. You are more than enough.