What is happiness? Well, probably one of the most subjective emotions there is ! Broadly, according to an article on happiness in Psychology Today, a happy person experiences more positive than negative emotions.
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Happy emotions include enjoyment, interest and pride, and negative ones can include anger and anxiety. Yes, no happy person has a stress-free life; but on balance, they have more positive than negative feelings.
As a solution focused hypnotherapist, I can see plenty of ways we can move from a negative to a positive state of mind. We can all become truly happy people, and here are a few pointers in a positive direction.
The positivity of simple pleasures
If you want to understand simple pleasures, hang out with a toddler. The sheer joy they get from an activity like jumping about, and being in the moment is definitely a lesson in how to appreciate life.
Slow down, and take a few moments to smell the roses. The mindfulness approach encourages us to embrace these captivating minutiae, and start noticing the first buds of spring or a fresh coat of paint on the local shop.
What simple pleasures make you smile? Perhaps like the toddler, you sneak in a quick bounce! A bunch of flowers, an ice-cream, a walk in the sun, a favourite song coming on… Life can be packed with simple little joys, and happy people notice and take pleasure in them. (Note: if a toddler feels a bit much, spend time with a dog. Their enthusiasm for the world around them is an inspiration.)
Embrace happy-making activities
As grown-ups, we can feel a bit guilty about taking part in hobbies or activities. How often do you tell yourself you’ll download that movie after you’ve done the ironing? Go swimming if you have time after finishing a report? Yes, a reward approach can be good; but always putting our hobbies and interests at the bottom of the To Do list isn’t going to make us happy.
It make take a bit of planning around work and family life, but try to push those interests higher up the list. If your favourite activity is sailing, it might take rather more planning – but reading a book about it is simple, and will increase your positive feelings. (And if you need to justify this to yourself, happy people are more productive.)
Hang out with happy people
Happiness is contagious. It’s hard to be around smiling, positive people without some of their energy rubbing off on you. This doesn’t mean to ditch your less-smiley friends (with help from you, they could become smilier!), but spend time with genuine people who make you feel good, and whose company you truly enjoy.
As a social species, we need regular, positive interaction to keep us emotionally healthy. Friendship stimulates oxytocin (that same “love hormone” that new mums have), which creates social bonds and acts as an antidepressant. As with hobbies and activities, don’t let time with friends drop to the bottom of the list.
Focus on a happy future
This is something I come across every day at work, because solution focused hypnotherapy is about achieving positive outcomes. Sometimes, we can be wary of setting future goals because pessimism creeps in, and we’re so scared that won’t achieve our aim that we don’t even think about it – officially known as cognitive avoidance.
Solution focused hypnotherapy proves that the opposite is true: having that positive goal for a happy future makes us more likely to work towards it. It could be that you dream of a more fulfilling job. Visualising this positive outcome will help you put steps into place to get there: and also, knowing that your future happiness is on your own hands is really empowering.
Embrace your life
You know you the best. The happiest people are confident in their own skins, and are living a life that they feel suits them. If you think you’re a square peg at work, or are frustrated that you never have time to read/cook/play sport these days, you may need to make some life adjustments to make you truly happy.
The ability to embrace change is another characteristic of happy people, as is the acceptance that you can make those changes yourself.
